2.23.12
A long time ago….
I was watching a show, on natgeo, that showed the dissection of an elephant carcass (one who had died of natural causes). I found it to be extraordinarily fascinating because there was just a certain….unity…about the body. I was breathless at the explanation of the ears, that are used to cool the body in high temperatures, by circulating all of the body’s blood through them in only 20 minutes (that is why they flap them back and forth). I was in awe at the feet that have fat pockets in the soles, aiding them on long desert walks, like built in running sneakers. I stared at the beautiful ivory tusks and a trunk that serves an endless list of purposes. I have seen some things in life that make me take a step back and marvel, but this was different. I was genuinely moved by contemplating the ornate harmony and innocence of creation.
This creature was a million moving parts that functioned in synchronized grace like a ballet, and just as I was drowning in wonder of these amazingly intricate parts, I realized that together they make an even more amazing creature. Together these parts house the spirit of an animal who sheds tears at the sight of other elephants remains and buries them. A spirit that calls the creature to make a pilgrimage back to their place of birth when the time is upon them to pass. Many amazing parts that craft a flawless whole.
I imagined that being in love must feel something like the way I felt that day. A blissful wash of unity. Unparallelled admiration and appreciation working together to create a bond greater than the sum of its perfect parts.
More recently….
It was as I selfishly backed up towards the closest exit to avoid an awkward conversation that I bumped, or perhaps was more divinely pushed, into you. In your presence I felt protected and my desire to be yours alarmed me. I was inquisitive, yet I sensed a depth about you that felt like a warning. I couldn’t play on the edge as I normally did, because I knew, with you, I’d fall in. Days drained by like mere instances and in a moments time you had, in one sweeping motion, taken hold of me. Time stood still around me, and I stood still out of shock, but you moved as smooth as ever, like you already knew what to expect. Silently you took lead and I followed, with no objection. You’re constant smirk seems to tell that you knew all along, had control all along. That even now, you still do.
You are both stern and delicate, distinguished and silly, noble and sweet, proud and humble. I admired those parts, and adored the whole. I peered over the edge to satisfy my insatiable intrigue, and I fell in.
Minutes passed and I became a student of you.
We developed a bond that seemed preexisting. With each layer I penetrate, I found another beneath, waiting to be dissected like the inner-workings of the elephant. Waiting for me to dive into them to realize exactly how complex and perfect they are. Like creations in nature, each part serves a purpose and fulfills its duty without fail. Each part contributes to a greater whole, and that whole has consumed me.
Like life, like divine miracles, like the elephant, I am in awe of you. Like I imagined one day, a long time ago, love is unparalleled.
